Tiger Woods pips LeBron James and Madonna to worst tipster top spot - The Guardian

USA: Woods, James and Madonna show no talent for tipping

Tough times for Tiger Woods: having long since lost form and the world No1 spot, he also missed the cut at the US PGA and will now not be enjoying making the leaderboard on two less flattering lists. Last year research in the US found that he is seen as the most "arrogant" sports brand, ahead of the New York Yankees, Dallas Cowboys and Miami Heat. While this week the Miami New Times outed him as number one in their "Top Ten Cheapest Celebrity Tippers".

Encouraged by the generous tipping of President Barack Obama ("tipped more than 35%" at a burger restaurant) and Johnny Depp (reportedly enjoyed a $2,600 meal and left a $1,500 tip), the paper decided to take a look at dedicated websites that keep track of celebs' largesse to the staff.

The result was a composite list compiled on the basis of: "number of cheapskate lists each person appears on, stinginess relative to how wealthy the person is, and how low the tip comparative to how high the bill."

In with a bullet at number 10 was TV celeb, chef and author Rachael Ray "tipped $1 on a $10 tab", followed by: Bill Cosby "said to have once left a $3 tip on a $350 order"; Sean Penn "the tip left on a $450 tab? Absolutely nothing"; Mariah Carey "despite keeping staffers jumping and a high tab, no one left a tip"; Usher "once left his autograph as a tip".

Which left Entourage actor Jeremy Piven to head the hot five, making a step up from Usher, having "left a signed Entourage DVD as the tip". Above him were: LeBron James "once made a Cleveland steak house stay open until four in the morning so he could finish his feast. The bill: $800. The tip: $10"; Barbra Streisand "left a $10 tip for a $457 tab" and the material girl herself Madonna "doesn't always leave a tip, and when she does it's a cheap one." A habit it appears even cor-blimey-guvnor, cockernee man of the people and at-the-time husband Guy Ritchie could not cure, with List of the Day reporting that: "Madonna and then-husband Ritchie left an $18 tip on a $400 tab."

A rundown of shame from which no one emerges looking pretty yet, as we are reminded by Mr White in Reservoir Dogs, "Waitressing is the number one occupation for female non-college graduates in this country. It's the one job basically any woman can get, and make a living on. The reason is because of tips." A movie which, it seems, places Tiger firmly on the side of Steve Buscemi's Mr "I don't tip" Pink.

Woods, says the Miami New Times, "was cited on every single list" and reports that "The reason he doesn't tip: The man worth more than $500m says it's because he never carries cash." The paper lists one source reporting him having his date tip for him whenever they went out and worst of all for the uber-rich in American society, having once "pulled a mulligan on a $5 tip, repocketing the money meant for a waitress after realising he had tipped her earlier in the evening. He was possibly distracted by the $10,000 hand of blackjack he was playing."

USA: But Couples tips Tiger for Presidents Cup

There's some comfort for Tiger however, as the New York Daily News reports that US Presidents Cup captain Fred Couples still hopes to give the out-of-form player one of his two captain's picks for the event at the Royal Melbourne club in Australia in November.

"I really want him on the team based on, in my opinion, he's been the best player for 10 straight years," Couples said. "I don't think you can just push him down because maybe he's not playing as well as 20 other guys who can end up getting picked."

It's a somewhat controversial position as many believe that Woods is so out of form that even his remarkable playing record is not enough to justify the place.

Couples says he had been text messaging Woods, and that his agent, Mark Steinberg, had said he wants to play. However, he had not spoken to him since he missed the cut at the US PGA and also insisted that the place was conditional on watching the player compete before his next scheduled tournament, the Australian Open, which is the week before the Presidents Cup.

"We're going to figure out a way to get this done," he said. "In my opinion, for him to play I think he needs to play a little bit. He just can't show up the week before in Australia."

It's a position Couples seems keen to stick to with Golf Digest reporting him as also saying: "From what I see, he's looking to turn it around quicker but not playing much golf. He may read that and say, 'Screw him.' I mean, he's my favourite player. But to get better, you gotta play."

Having failed to qualify for the FedEx Cup series that marks the climax of the American season, Woods had been offered a chance to play at next week's Johnnie Walker Championship at Gleneagles by Colin Montgomerie.

As Woods has dropped out of the top 30 in the world rankings and is in danger of going out of the top 50 by the end of the year, the tournament would have offered welcome ranking points and a chance to familiarise himself with the course that will host the 2014 Ryder Cup.

However, he has already declined. Tournament director Graeme Marchbank said: "I spoke with Colin and his management team and Tiger unfortunately can't come." It leaves the only confirmation to play on his schedule at old college pal Notah Begay's Foundation Challenge on 31 August. Couples is surely expecting more.

He needs the best and his captain's picks may be crucial. The international line-up is strong and while there have been eight Presidents Cup contests, the US have won six, with one draw and only one defeat. That occurred the last time it was held at Royal Melbourne in 1998.

GERMANY: Fans face faeces and sirens

There was much reporting this week on the faeces-throwing incident between Koln and Schalke 04 fans that slightly overshadowed curious but less-unpleasant events at TSG 1899 Hoffenheim.

Koln had lost 5-1 at the Gelsenkirchen and unhappy visiting fans chose to mount their own dirty protest in response. Bild reported that the police had confirmed that at least one person in the Kln fan block had been seen "placing" faeces into a plastic beer glass and then throwing it at his rivals. The solid organic missile was followed by at least two urine-filled plastic beer glasses.

Club supporter representative Rainer Mendel was quick to condemn the actions of the small number of hooligans: "We disassociate ourselves as a club from these people. This behaviour is unacceptable, none can deny it," he said.

Meanwhile, over at Hoffenheim reports were made of a shrill, deafening noise that would blast out across the visiting Borussia Dortmund fan block whenever they started chanting anti-Hopp abuse.

It has since emerged that an employee of the club has admitted erecting sirens in the visitors' stands and activating them to drown out abuse against the club's president Dietmar Hopp.

He has since claimed he was unaware how loud they would be and that it had been meant as a joke.

Police, who have said they will be watching Koln fans closely for any further faeces-in-a-cup action, have also confirmed they have had an official complaint of bodily harm from a Borussia fan who said he suffered earache after the match.

FRANCE: Two wheels good four legs better

Thomas Voeckler, who finished fourth in this year's Tour de France, and held the yellow jersey for 10 days the best performing Frenchman in this year's Tour has came off second best as he pitted his two wheels against the four legs of a horse, reports Cycling News.

He went head-to-head with trotter Othello Bourbon in a best-of-three series in an exhibition at Les Sables-d'Olonne. Racing on a 380m straight from a flying start Voeckler took the first round, just, from horse and jockey Eric Raffin but says Cycling News: "As was the case in the final days of the Tour, his efforts began to tell in the later stages, and Voeckler had to give best over the next two races to lose the series 2-1."

There is no shame in the defeat however, as Ouest France noted: "duels between professional cyclists and horses are not rare and generally turn to the advantage of the quadrupeds."

USA: Faith triggers flame war for New England Patriot's Tim Tebow

Some trouble this week for CBS Sports columnist Gregg Doyel, reports USA Today after he wrote a column in which he questioned Tim Tebow's comments to the Denver Post that he was "relying as always on my faith" as he competed for the starting quarterback job with the Denver Broncos.

Doyel questioned why Tebow believed "God's plan for him involves the spectacular, not the mundane" and that "From the outside it looks like Tebow equates his love for God in heaven with tangible rewards here on earth. And that's more than wrong. It's blasphemy."

It created an inevitable storm ""Its like someone spilled [TV evangelist] Pat Robertson all over my inbox," Doyel tweeted and most of it was, indeed, aimed at Doyel's email but he took it well.

"Your article on Christian faith is extremely offensive. I have forwarded my thoughts to many individuals at CBS Sports and will no longer be a customer," wrote one. "You'll be back. When you're finished burning books," replied Doyel.

"Really disappointed with you taking Tebow's faith and twisting it in a worldly way to be something negative. Very, very disturbed by your conclusion, Gregg," wrote the next.

"Sorry, Drew. You'll feel better if you forward your thoughts to many individuals at CBS Sports and then go burn some books," Doyel countered.

USA: Bad taste blogger backs down on Tom Brady penis pics

Trouble too for BarstoolSports.com's blogger Dave Portnoy who was forced to take down a post he made referencing the penis-size of New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady's son, accompanied by a paparazzi picture of him playing on a beach, reports the Boston Globe.

Appearing under the headline: "Check Out The Howitzer On Brady's Kid" the piece on Barstool went on to wax lyrical about one-and-a-half-year old Benjamin Brady's genitalia. "Just swinging low like a boss. That's what MVP QB's do. They impregnate chicks and give birth to big dicked kids," he opined crudely.

Already lost in quagmire of bad taste he finished it off by noting, above pictures of the child's bikini-clad mother, "PS The mom's ass ain't bad either."

He was promptly banned from Boston sports radio station WEEI, on which he appears. Station manager, Jason Wolfe said on Twitter: "No, we will not have Portnoy on again. What he did was completely irresponsible. It's not about whether he was allowed to do it or not. It's about common decency. And he showed none."

Fans were equally unhappy and equally vocal but Portnoy was initially unrepentant until state troopers visited him and told him they had received a multitude of complaints about the photos and said that "it would be in the best interest of everybody involved'' if he removed them

He did. "I basically didn't want to get into a pissing contest with the cops or state," he said. However First Amendment specialists told the Boston Globe that they found it troubling that the state's leading law enforcement office urged Portnoy to delete the post. "There's an inherent element of coercion when civilians are faced with police in uniforms,'' said Jonathan M. Albano, a Boston lawyer who specialises in media law.

Few others were sympathetic. Perhaps expecting some support from shock-jock Howard Stern, Portnoy appeared on his show only for Stern to tell him that it was "kind of seedy" and that "I have three daughters and I gotta tell you, Dave, I would never post a picture of a child and comment on their genitals, and I'm known for outrageous commentary."

Follow Giles Richards on Twitter: Giles_Richards